Ex AuPair trash talking
My first 2 yrs with aupairs were good ones. I still talk often to them. My last one was terrible. She broke house rules, expected the world from us, whined about what her friends had she did not from us, slept over the neighbors against our requests not to, lied a lot, bought a car for herself because using ours 2nights week was not enough for her. Put it under me for cheaper insurance and did not pay for the insurance. We do not need a driving AP for us, their driving for themselves to get out. She attended underaged drinking parties, trashed us to neighbors we found out later, transitioned 3 weeks ago and she moved to IL. Continues to follow me on the company website support forums and trash me each time I post about any harmless topic saying things like "we are evil, crazy family, hope you get a new ap every week, your losers, slave drivers (she worked 37 hours a week), bla bla. She uses a new name posts and then changes names. She mentions info that gives her away to US. She is contacting all future AP's from a FB site that we are evil using our name and location.... I have heard from other HF's their AP's are talking about us across country...we are so angry with CCAP for allowing this BS! Again, 2 very successful years! She left her bedroom a disaster and did the minimal work.
What has others done in such a situation?
Oh and she also got a 24 yr old local to me who is up on felony charges and is a suspended jail guard to trash me too.
I went out of my way to take her to the LCC's home for her 2 weeks transition. To volatile to stay here with us with this going on. I forwarded her mail to the agency at her request using my own money, put in a change form. We did hold onto her car she bought til she pays us what she owes us. We told her car has to leave in 1 week and she wanted 5 weeks? this was while she was trashing us.
Not the whole story
This host mom is posting about topics that have NOTHING to do with her previous AP. She answered a question about vacation time that another host mom asked and all of a sudden she is attacked for being "EVIL, slave driver", etc. She wasn't even mentioning previous au pair.
It has happened at least 10 times and not one of the posts even referenced the previous AP. One was even started by a "friend" of the previous AP that wanted to let everyone know how these "EVIL, rich people" were treating their AP.
This AP is truly stalking and harassing her online. She posted on the CCAP website for months before any of this occurred and there was never a problem before.
Au Pair Stalking Host Mom?
Hi,
I don't want to alarm you, but this sounds like stalking to me. Most au pairs who are angry and have to leave their families move on and let it go. this au pair is not letting it go, and if you are saying she continues to trash you on the company boards (shame on Cultural Care for allowing these messages to come through), she is out of control. Most stalkers are out of control people who cannot handle their emotions.
You also mention her getting others to do her dirty work, that guy with the felon charges. Now, that would scare the hell out of me. Do something! She could pay him to come to your house for goodness sake!
I agree with Edina, let the company know this has to stop or you will see a lawyer! Follow through if they ignore you!
Good luck and be careful....
Au Pair Trashes Host Family
Hi Mommyto2,
Wow, this must be a terrible situation for you! It sounds like this au pair is still here in the country (and she bought a car)? As long as she is here, she probably will try and make trouble for you, but I wonder, if she is still here in the U.S. and with Cultural Care, why can't you have the agency step in and make her stop?
There is the confidentiality issue that most au pair agencies have policies on. Neither au pair or host family are allowed to break the confidentiality of each other buy blogging, writing, talking, texting, etc. in a negative way to others. If the au pair continues to do so, this is grounds for dropping her from the program and sending her home.
I don't know if you stopped using Cultural Care, but either way, you should call the agency and tell them about this - and if they don't do anything (they should), you can have a lawyer write a "cease and desist" letter to both the agency and the au pair herself. This action will probably stop the internet and local harassment.
Let us know how things work out and good luck to you!
Edina
It is maddening
I totally agree. I threated CCAP with slapping a RO on her but they sent her far away. In hindsight I should have. I cried so much so far with all of the nasty things she is spewing to my peers and other AP's whom I know are my supportive peers of CCAP's Host Families which spread across the USA. She creates new names on the CCAP Blog site and follows my posts and trashes me. Saying we deserve a transition every week, we are evil, we are a nut family, we do not want her being friendly with neighbors....to the contrary, we want them to be JUST NOT PARTY AND SLEEP OVER ALL THE TIME, it is inappropriate. She had her friend blog that her friend (my ex AP) was "a poor victim of a loser family and so glad she is out and she (the blogger) did not go with them either". and so on and on and on... Every day.... I have had to change my log in name on their site to hide myself but since it all links my current posts to my past, she knows. To stop the threads against me, CCAP removes MY post (therefore no one else can post on it) but then it leaves hers....which again, I feel like the punished person here. We have implemented additional security measures for our home even.
I honestly feel as though CCAP just wants to keep us both in for most money.... I have committed to another of their AP's coming next month and as much as I want to demand my money back, this pour AP has done nothing to me but been excited about joining my family soon and I cannot break such a committment. We thought this would all blow over long ago. CCAP says they cannot be sure it is her.... She even admitted on the blog WHERE she is from. Australia! I know at least 1 great AP from Australia and a friend HF was just been joined by another. My ex-AP friended her and trashed us so bad she went to her HM after 10pm and talked about it. Her AP had NO IDEA she was friends with me! Her AP said she trash talked America first saying we all back stab and she should reconsider coming here. And then trash talked my family by name and location. I have heard from a few Aussie APs she has done it to them as well. But CCAP says they won't contact this other AP who is very willing to talk to them about it, as it is not needed. "We do not want to get all these other people involved" I said "It is one family". Again, I feel terrible about this other AP who is matched to me but also feel so revictimized by the the AP AND the agency. it just is not right.
She said they "will ask her to stop and have" and "will ask if she has" Are you KIDDING ME?! My hubsand told them "Sure, I am certain she will admit it to you!"