According to a new book, An Unsolicited Gift by the psychiatrist Dr Dennis Friedman, employing a nanny or au pair to look after your baby son could turn him into a womanizer later in his adult life.  According to Friedman, having two women care for a baby boy may cause his brain to internalize the idea that there are multiple females to meet his needs. “It introduces him to the concept of the other woman,” stated Dr. Friedman.  Oh boy, another reason for working moms to feel guilty!

TimesOnline.co.uk's news writer, Carol Midgely, reviews Dr. Friedman's book where he speculates that leaving boys with nannies or au pairs may give them the impression that woman fall into 2 categories: one, the mother who is idealized and honored and two, the "other" woman, who will meet his physical needs (as a young boy, clean his nappies; as an adult, meet his sexual needs).  So, according to Dr. Friedman, men will marry a girl "just like dear old mom" and stray from the marital bed to find lusty sex with the "other" woman, his mistress. 

Hmm, interesting, but even though the man is doing the straying, who gets blamed?  Dear old mum!  Again!  Over history, mothers have been blamed for all sorts of outrageous conditions in their adult children, from autism to schizophrenia!  The medical professionals pointing the fingers at mothers are typically male psychiatrists! 

In the 1950s, Dr. Kanner proposed his theory of what caused autism in children:  mothers failed to form a basic psychological bond with their babies and therefore, the child failed to progress normally.  Based on his theory, children were taken from their natural parents and placed in foster care.  Also, in the 50s, psychologist Gregory Bateson concluded that the cause of schizophrenia, the worst mental disorder known to man, was caused by the Double Bind Theory which stated contradictions in the interactions between mother and infant predisposed the child to schizophrenia.

Of course, these two theories have long since been rejected by the psychiatric communities - we know today that schizophrenia is a genetic disorder of the brain; autism seems to be linked with several factors, including genetics, environmental factors, etc., but the main causes are still unknown.

So, here we have yet again a male psychiatrist who, and without any scientific methodology to back up his claims, proposes a theory in which he blames mothers for their future sons' marital troubles and adultery!  The warning is implicit: if you do not want your sons to engage in adultery, quit your job and stay home with your male babes!  That is where you are supposed to be anyway, right?  Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen!

Ignore this book and the articles about this silly and sexist theory - women work because they enjoy their careers and because their family needs the income. Leaving our male children with a childcare giver (a woman, which is a double whammy - according to Dr. Friedman, the female childgiver corrupts the male children by representing his future "mistress.") will not lead him to cheat on his wife!

Don't buy into another attempt by a chauvinistic psychiatrist's attempts to make you feel guilty - it is wrong and outrageous and his opinions will fall by the wayside, as former psychiatrists' "mother blaming" theories have before!  

There is no scientific proof that hiring an au pair will harm your male children!