Rematching Fired Au Pairs - The Decision to Get Tough
A Chinese au pair from Miami posted an emotional grievance on our Complaint forum a few days ago and her story touched off a debate whether or not this au pair was treated fairly - either by her agency and the family that fired her (my highlights):
"I am from China who have been an au pair in America for 3 months. During my time period in U.S.A, Expert Au Pair Agency gave me a horrible experience while besides that I have good memory with this country. In the end, the host family while we have conflict concern my safety and paid half of my ticket back to my country. Mark Gaulter just made a phone call after the host family terminated the contract and told me they wouldn't give me any placement, no any refund of my deposit and laughed to say that I have to leave the country in 15 days. They donot need any investigation as the host family lives in a supper rich area in Florida .
I cried heavily and desperately after that . After I informed that to host family and agency . Mark Gaulter replied me personally that I run off the duty just want to attend a party and I am foolish to expect the agency to give me another placement. I have reported this to the U.S. government and do not know if I could charge the racial discrimination. It is very horrible as the agency is a window of many young people who want to see and know America while exhausted and hurt in the end."
After several days, the au pair, known as Wendy, finally came clean and admitted she left the family to go off with a new love interest to party, etc. and did not return until she was finished with the "holiday" she felt she was entitled to:
"There were something happened Christmas eve while I just mentioned to the host family , my friends and family. That is the friend met not so long begged me try to stay here to let both of us get to know each other. I would say he is the first Hispanic man comes close to me and I find later I fall in love with him. I spend the happy Christmas eve and new years eve with the jubilant welcome by his big family and want to know his family so I followed their trip the next day. I would just say my judgement and IQ was down to bottom..."
Wendy now admitis she took off and left the family's home during the holiday weekend, when she was supposed to work, because she wanted to be with this man and attend a party with him. After she returned, 2 days later, she apologized to her family but was fired. Wendy then became very upset that Expert Au Pair agency did not find her a new family and that Mark Gaulter, CEO of her agency, Expert Au Pair, told her to return home. Check our Complaint Forum to read the entire thread: http://aupairclearinghouse.com/node/766
The practice of rematching bad au pairs fired by host families is a touchy and complex matter. Host parents complain all the time about their agencies "recycling" the au pair they just fired to other, "unsuspecting" host families. There is also the sense of outrage that the fired au pair was not given the appropriate consequence: packing her up and sending her home!
Most host family complaints that are written online are directed at agencies rematching these outlaw au pairs with other families.
Agencies will defend their position by stating, after a careful and professional review of the dispute between au pair and family, they decided it was a "personality" clash and not the au pair's fault.
Now, the agency will go on to find the au pair a better "match" with a new family and hope for the best. Sometimes this actually does work out and it is a personality difference, but if the family has been a repeat customer, with no issues or red flags themselves, au pair agencies are doing a disservice to their community by rematching fired au pairs.
These troubled au pairs are placed into unsuspecting host families and ultimately repeat the same behaviors that got them into trouble in the first family. The current policy at many agencies is "three strikes and you are out." An inside source confirmed that one agency keeps rematching fired au pairs until their 12 month contract is up. Why? To save money.
Is this practice of recycling fired au pairs overindulgent or simply a way cut costs? In these tough economic times, sending back an au pair is a significant loss, particularly when airfares are expensive due to the distance involved: all parts of Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Russia, etc.
The question is: Are agencies putting children at risk by recycling underqualified, immature au pairs? I think so and I have seen it time and time again. Most of the costs involved in recycling these questionable au pairs are passed along to the unsuspecting new host families, as they clean up the au pairs's mistakes: car accidents, lost wages and holiday time parents take to cover au pairs "gone missing," thefts, new program fees associated with a rematch, and additional airfare and travel expenses, both in and out of the country!
There are some agencies that refuse to compromise their integrity and commitment to quality childcare. The safety of children and the well-being of host families are paramount at these agencies, like Expert Au Pair. This agency stood by the host family when they fired Wendy and did the right thing by not recycling her to other family!
I want to commend CEO Mark Gaulter and Expert Au Pair for refusing to rematch Wendy and for sending her home. Mr. Gaulter makes very clear why he chose not to:
"...we did remove an au pair from her host family in South Florida over the Christmas period. We attempted to speak to the au pair on Christmas Day but she was she could not be reached. I made contact the next day.
I asked the au pair if she had been mistreated in her employment, and she indicated that she had not. She told me that she failed to watch the children as agreed on Christmas Eve, without giving notice. She admitted that she missed work only so she could go to a party (in Fort Myers) to drink. When the au pair finally did notify her host family that she was safe, which as I understand it was long after she was due to start, she did so only by sending a rather unfortunate text message.
The au pair was unapologetic and insisted that she was entitled to holidays. We support our au pairs' rights under the law, and of course she was entitled to holidays, but these were outlined in her employment contract. She is not entitled to holidays that she unilaterally declares should be holidays, without notice.
I was shocked by her behavior, because the vast, vast majority of our au pairs are responsible young adults. We cannot, in good conscience, offer this au pair as an au pair candidate in the future. What would have happened if she had started work and then been offered the chance to party?
I explained to the au pair that once she stopped being an au pair, she had only a certain time to leave the United States or to change status. I wish her well in her future endeavors."
I would like to thank Mark Gaulter for supporting host families and for responding here at the Clearinghouse! I also join him in wishing Wendy well in her future and for sharing her story with our readers.
To learn more about Expert Au Pair and why parents rated them #2, read their review.
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Comments
Rematching Fired Au Pairs
I work as an Area Director (community coordinator) for one of the top au pair agencies and can from my experience that the decision to rematch a "fired" au pair is not taken lightly. In no way would my agency benefit from allowing a truly bad au pair to rematch with another family since match break-ups can and often do result in loosing the host family. There are a lot of things taken into consideration when deciding to give an au pair a second chance, however, there are defiantly situations in which an au pair would not be rematched including the account of the Chinese au pair who decided that partying w/her new boyfriend was more important then showing up for work. Incidents involving illegal activities such as drugs, drinking and driving, prostitution, or child endangerment are not tolerated and would result in the offending au pair being dismissed from the program and having to return home at her expense. On the other hand people do make mistakes - no one is perfect including au pairs. My agency discloses the reason for the rematch even if it involves a mistake or negligence on the part of the au pair. The fact is everyone is capable of blowing it and in most cases people should be given a second chance. There are often aggravating circumstances on the part of the host family where they are contributing to the problem or even making things up as an excuse to get rid of an au pair they don't like. I had a meeting with one host mom who said her au pair's room was a "disaster" and a hazard to her small child - going so far as to say there could be "rats" in her closet. When I checked the au pair's room it was fine (including her closet). This host mom had a history of being difficult, demanding and frankly a little whacky. The family was eventually removed from the program, my point being, had she fired the au pair and we decided to allow her to go into rematch, I'm sure this host mom would have objected saying the young lady was not fit to be an au pair when in reality she was not fit to be a host parent.
Host Families Sometimes are the Problem
Hi Deb,
Yes, you are correct, sometimes it is the host families themselves that are the reason the match goes into rematch. Some families are difficult, demanding and do not understand the program. Au pairs are not slaves or employees in the sense you can change their duties, hours, etc.
Host families like this should be asked to leave the agency. We used to give them 3 chances and then they were nicely and quietly "talked" out of the program. For example, we would say, "You know, I really don't think we are meeting your childcare needs at this point. May I suggest that you look for alternative childcare while we continue to search for you?" In the meantimes, we didn't search at all! We just waited until the families either got the point or lost patience waiting and moved on.
Au pairs do have a right to be matched again even if they are fired depending on the circumstances surrounding the situation! We need to assess the family and their input into the troubled relationship, as much as we do on the au pair's involvement!
When it is obvious, as in Wendy's case (re: walking out of the house for days during a holiday, when she was supposed to be working), we don't have to look too far, but each side should be listened to and a thorough and unbiased assessment should be made of the entire events leading up to the decision to rematch.
Thanks Deb for the commentary!
Edina
Expert Au Pair Rocks!
If we ever move to Florida Mr. Gaulter, I will sign up with your au pair agency! I think you rock!
'Bout time an agency stood up amd took a stand and was prepared to lose some dollars in order to stand by their integrity and commitment to safety when it comes to the host families out there!
We depend on you and au pair managers to screen and monitor these girls, who for the most part, as you point out, are just above board and very good at what they do.
But, when you have a character, like this girl Wendy, who does not seem to be very concerned about the children in her care, well that gives me the willies and I am glad to know that agencies are looking out for us.
Thanks!
Host Dad
What A Relief to Hear THiS finally
Dear Edina and Mr. Gaulter,
Thank you both very much for stating the truth - I had 2 au pairs - one "rematched" into my family and another au pair that was mine, rematched into another family. One of my previous agencies tried to hide the fact they rematched my "party" au pair to another family!
At first, i thought they (agency staff) did not believe me, but then i found that it was not the issue, whether or not I was telling the truth, the fact was the agency wanted to rematch these girls to continue to provide their services to other families.
I did speak to the host family who received one of my "rematch" au pairs who was a "party" girl (who took our car in the middle of the night, went out drinking with a group of guys and girls in a motel room, got into an accident, and we ended up eating the costs for fixing our car); and this host mom told me the au pair did the same thing (drunk driving) a month after she arrived at their home! But, this time, the girl stayed out and never came home. She is still somewhere in NJ! This was her third family since i rematched with her after her first family removed her from their home. I was never told the first family fired her for getting into a car accident. I am sure it involved drinking and driving.
The other girl was from Thailand and could not speak any English and stayed in her room all the time. she did not like children nor did she enjoy caring for them. she was very antisocial and we were very concerned that she refused to talk to anyone, including the counselor. i told the agency she was not fit to care for children and they rematched her with a family out of state, so I don't know what happened to this one.
It is time for all host families to come forward and share their experiences so au pair agemcies can be held accountable. I just hope this is the start of that happening!
The agencies who "recycled' 2 au pairs to and from my home are Cultural Care and Au Pair in America.
Thank you!
Dear Harris32,
Thank you for your kind words - I do think agencies have to get tough with au pairs who do not fulfill their contractual obligations or who think they can walk out of the family to party and come back when they want and it will be 'okay.' It is never okay and the girls have to learn how to act if they want to be treated like young adults. The bottom line is that children are involved and if there is any doubt that an au pair does not have the good judgment or maturity necessary to care for children, they should be returned to their homeland. End of story.
Edina