Spring is the most popular (and busiest) time for parents looking to hire an au pair!  The season is upon us and we are getting many emails from parents asking "how to interview?" au pairs. This afternoon we received this question from Marly R. in VA:  

"Hi! We are new to the au pair program.  What questions should we be asking of our prospective au pairs during the phone interview?

Great question!  There are several areas you will need to focus on, but first I suggest you examine the au pair's application closely.  The phone interview, which is a critical part of your successful match with an au pair who is a great fit for your family, should be based on your initial screening of the application!

Screening the Application: What do you look for? 

1. Photos:  First, take a look at her personal photos she attached to her family host letter. You want to see several photos of her in various scenarios with children.  Look at what she is doing and the expressions on her face.  Is she happy, content?  Does she look comfortable holding children?  Or is she just standing next to a group of children ("posed" photos) without any evidence of a warm connection with them?  Then, take a look at her family photos.  They should compromise at least half of all the photos she sends.  Why?  You want to see how family-orientated she is. Her photos should show her with mother, father, extended family members and siblings during holidays, family celebrations, etc.  These photos should show a close, involved family who enjoy doing things together. 

The au pair's photos of friends are secondary, but very important too (an au pair with several close friendships indicate normal social development). Photos of her friends should not dominate the number of images.  Look at the way they dress - are they appropriately clothed or do they wear scanty tops and tight jeans?  Are they shown partying on the beach, drinking beer in a bar?  These images will help you to screen out party girls and aid in finding family-oriented au pairs.

"My family has had au pairs for the past 12 years.  Every year, when we are looking for the next new au pair, the first thing I do is look at the pictures.  I screen first by her photos and then I read her family letter, and then the application!  It has always worked with only one exception and we have matched with great "family"  au pairs for 11 years!"  Host Dad in Central NJ.

2. Host Family Letter - Content & Tone:  Next, take a look at the host family letter she has written.  The first paragraph is often very telling.  She is telling you why she is going away from her family.  Does she make statements like this in the first few sentences?:  "I live with my mother and brother, my father left us when I was five."  "My boyfriend broke up with me and I want to learn how to be more independent living on my own."  These statements are red flags!  She is telling you she has unresolved emotional issues that she will bring to your family.  The host family letter should be short and to the point and have expressions of love and loyalty to her parents and siblings, the desire to learn and take classes and to meet your children.  I have read hundreds of host family letters and many of the au pairs do not even mention the family's children!  The tone of the letter should be positive, friendly, demonstrate a healthy curiosity about you and your family and, most important, indicate good self-esteem. 

"I read the au pairs' host family letters first and screen each application based on them.  If I don't feel great about the au pair's letter I don't look further.  This is her opportunity to demonstrate to us why she is interested in matching with our family.  If she does not impress me or I don't feel her personality shine through that letter, I move on.  I like upbeat, positive and mature au pairs and their letters will show these qualities." Host Mom from PA.

3. Interview Questions:  Once you have screened the applications based on the photos and family letter, then you can begin to call the prospective au pairs and ask about these important areas:  her hobbies (is she active and engaged?); her family (does she have good relationships with both parents?  If not, ask why!); what does she plan to do in her spare time (travel, read quietly in her room, or make friends?), childcare experience - ask her "what would you do?" questions that encourage her to think on her feet ("What would you do first if there was a fire in the house?  What would you do if my child smacked you in the face?  What kinds of activities would you do with the children on a rainy, boring day?). For busy host parents, ask, "Do you cook and what kinds of food can you cook for the children?"

You can personalize your list of questions that are important to you and your family, but note any hesitation on the part of the au pair when you ask any question.  Is she thinking carefully or does she hesitate because she does not know what to do in an emergency?  What is the quality of her answers?  Are they consistent, showing maturity and responsibility?  The manner in which she responds is often more important than the questions!

"The au pair may not have a lot of experience, but if I hear she is quick to know the right thing to do in an emergency and that she is willing to cook and get down on the floor and play with my toddler, the experience will come.  I need the basics - a good, solid, mature girl who will take charge of my house and child in a responsible manner."  Host Mom from NYC

Most au pair agencies will give you a Family Handbook that has a list of standard questions to ask during the interview - also, check with your counselor or LCC.  If she is experienced, she will give you great tips on what to look for and what to ask.

  Check out our article on the Top Ten Mistakes to Avoid When Choosing an Au Pair.  It outlines our best tips and advice on the most common mistakes new host parents stumble on during the matching process!

Good luck and keep your questions coming! 

We would love to hear other readers' suggestions and what works for them when interviewing for the best au pair!