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Not All Au Pair Agencies Recruit "MANNIES"

Not all au pair agencies recruit male au pairs and that is something that you should report on too. For example, Au Pair in America, one of your top three picks for 2009, does not offer male au pairs. But, they did at one time. A few years ago there was an huge incident with this agency and one of their german mannies who sexually molested the boy in his charge. The male au pair not only took nude photos of the kid,but also admitted to haveing sexual contact with the boy.

I believe the family sued au pair in america (who later settled out of court) and since then, au pair in america stopped recruiting male au pairs. Does this tell you something about the risk factors of hosting a MANNIE? Your website seems to endorse male au pairs.

Edina, you need to tell the entire story on male au pairs, past and present.

‹ Cultural Complaint that tops them allI agree- not a good company- how do i know?? I worked for them (in CT) and quit due to the Please Use the Complaints Page if you are replying to or making a complaint ›

Au Pair in America and Mannies

Hi Mark,

Yes, you are correct.  At one time Au Pair in America did recruit and place male au pairs.  And, you are correct, they did have a problem with one of their male German au pairs, Stephen Kahl. 

So there is no confusion or speculation about what took place over 10 years ago, we are posting an article from the Boston Globe we researched and found on Highbeam.com:

A trial is scheduled to begin Monday in a civil suit filed by Boston-area parents against an au pair agency that supplied a family with a male au pair who later pleaded guilty to molesting one of their children.

The civil damage suit, believed to be the first of its kind against an au pair agency, was filed in Middlesex Superior Court in Cambridge -- the same courthouse where British au pair Louise Woodward was tried last year in the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen.

The families have sued the Au Pair in America agency, which supplied Stefan Kahl, a 25-year-old German. Kahl pleaded guilty in a Middlesex County courtroom to child molestation in 1993 and has been deported to Berlin. He molested the boy in his care almost daily and took dozens of pornographic photographs of another boy, a 4-year-old in a neighboring town, who was being cared for by a female German au pair. The parents of the two boys have sued the agency and its parent company for consumer fraud and negligence in screening, training and supervising Kahl. Judge Isaac Borenstein will begin jury selection Monday after hearing several pretrial motions.

The defendants, because of the publicity the Woodward case received, have asked that the trial be delayed or moved to another location. They have also filed a countersuit alleging the host family should have known what was going on. Kahl came to Massachusetts five years ago after a widow from Greater Boston, one of the plaintiffs in the suit, asked Au Pair in America for a male to help her with her 5-year-old daughter and 8-year-old son. She thought a young man in the house would provide balance in her children's lives, and she paid the Greenwich, Conn., agency $3,500 to find a male mother's helper. In May, 1994, shortly before Kahl's one-year stay was up, he was arrested by police on child pornography charges. Police had learned of the pictures of the 4-year-old boy in the nude or dressed only in a cowboy hat, boots, and a holster when a photo lab called authorities. When police questioned Kahl about the photographs, he admitted molesting the boy in his care. According to the suit, Kahl said he did not consider the photographs pornographic. Kahl said he had innocent sexual conduct with the boy and, because of his child-care philosophy, he did not understand that it was inappropriate for caretakers to have sexual contact with children when they express sexual curiosity. The suit alleges that Au Pair in America had represented that au pair candidates were fully screened, were of good character, and their references had been checked. But, the suit said, sexual abuse was not mentioned in training sessions, and the reference check consisted of a single telephone call to a person of Kahl's choosing. A three-day orientation program Kahl underwent provided him with information of cultural differences between Europe and America, but did not include information about inappropriate sexual contact with children or child exploitation, the suit said. "The orientation program failed to inform Kahl that while appropriate child-care philosophy in Germany and other European countries may include sexual contact between the child and the caretaker to generate openness with children when they express sexual curiosity, such conduct with children is a felony in Massachusetts and other states," the suit alleges. Before Kahl was selected to be an au pair, the agency did nothing to minimize risks associated with child molestation, the families assert in court documents. While the pornographic pictures were being taken, a female German au pair was present but failed to intervene. She was uncertain whether Kahl's photography was inappropriate, the suit said. The families assert that Au Pair in America should have recognized "red flags" in Kahl's application as indicative of tendencies toward pedophilia. They say Kahl appeared to have an unusual attraction to young children, and expressed little interest in people his own age. His application also indicated he had been abandoned by his father and stepfather and indicated a preference for male children. The plaintiffs say the defendants' screening agency in Germany had a financial incentive not to reject applicants because it would not be paid unless the candidates were accepted for placement. Under its contract with the au pair agency, the screening agent was obliged to supply a minimum number of au pairs each month and if the quota was not met the agent would lose its exclusive contract and the cash advance of 50,000 marks it received each month from the defendants, the suit says. Also named as defendants are two companies affiliated with the au pair agency: the American Institute for Foreign Study Foundation and the American Institute for Foreign Study Inc.

What is interesting in this case (besides the Mannies issue) is that it was the first time a family actually sued an au pair agency.  Eerily enough, the case took place in the same courthouse that Louise Woodward, the now infamous au pair from England, had been tried in for killing infant Matthew Eappen, the year before.  Ms. Woodward was recruited from Cultural Care Au Pair Agency from MA.

The 90s were not great years for the au pair industry!   However, due to these unfortunate cases, the State Department did come in and made changes to the cultural exchange program, mandating psychological testing of all prospective au pairs and tighter background checks that included criminal activity.  So, today, we have a better system in place for host parents and their children, to ensure safe, reliable care, from the majority of au pairs that arrive in America today.

In order to receive this kind of protection and screening, remember to always go through one of the 12 agencies governed by the State Dept.  See the list here.

  • By Edina Stone at 07/03/2009 - 08:35
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Dead Issue Happened Many Years AGO

Dear Ms. Stone, I have worked as a counselor many years and I think that bringing up old news such as this does no good at all for anyone, au pairs, au pair agencies and the people involved. I know you think that all news is helpful, and I do think your website is very good in terms of helping prospective families make good choices, but why would you publish something like this online?

Maybe you wanted to start a dialogue here about screening au pairs and the male au pairs, but it only cast a negative light on them. What about the fact that the winner of the Au Pair of the Year Award is a male au pair? Doesn't that tell you volumes about how much has changed today?

I would like to know how it helps and for me it seems that it only hurts the au pair industry that you try so hard to push for!!

Counselor for over 13 years

We welcome your comments and your expertise

Dear DWC,

I thank you for your comments here even though you disagree with me about posting this article on Au Pair in America.  I wanted to give parents a wider viewpoint on au pairs and the industry that recruits them. We are a news center and this is news if it relates to a current issue.  The article can be found online, so it is out there for anyone to read, if they research agencies, etc. 

One of the issues is that hiring male au pairs can be tricky as this article supports.  Screening and background checks are so important and I wanted to highlight that fact.  It is almost impossible to screen for pedophiles because it is expensive and time-consuming.  I don't think any agency screens for pedophilia and most of the psychological tests that au pair agencies use are NOT designed to screen for this mental disorder.   

Parents need to know this and do their due diligence when considering a male au pair.  I think the idea of hiring a male au pair is a great one and I think most of them work out very nicely indeed.  But, it is up to parents to make the final decision and do their own screening, via interviews, to help them feel comfortable and confident that their au pair is well-balanced and mentally healthy in every aspect. 

Also, I wanted to get it all out there so readers are not sending in false statements about Au Pair in America.  Now that the article is published here, in its entire format, there can be no speculation about what happened, etc., and given the fact we are discussing male au pairs and the sudden departure of Ricardo, the Au Pair of the Year Award for 2009.  Readers have already sent in their comments and speculations that he left due to "some problems" with either the agency or his host mom has already been posted here. 

I do feel all news, whether it is old or new, is relevant if it sheds any light on the process of hiring the right au pair for your family.  Our mission is to provide the information to parents so they can make the best informed decision when it comes to the childcare they choose for their children. 

I hope you can understand this and you are more than welcome to provide testimonials from your host families who did hire male au pairs successfully and perhaps, how they screened them in their interviews.  Now, that would be helpful!

Thanks again DWC and I hope you will visit us again!  We do like to hear from LCCs and Counselors!

Best,

Edina

  • By Edina Stone at 07/03/2009 - 22:28
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Check out the news story, recent about male au pairs

Dear DWC, did you see the recent news story (here on this website too, I read it online elsewhere) about the male au pair who was a closet pedophile?  He has a fetish about boy children and diapers - that is disgusting to know he abused this boy (and who knows how many more before he was caught) trusted to his care.  Again, reporting on these cases are good because the public needs to be informed and educated.  Some parents have never even heard of male au pairs, much less the happenchance they can ALSO be pedophiles. 
Err on the side of caution, if even one parent reads this, and a red flag presents itself when interviewing a male au pair, perhaps the parent may act on this and alert someone or not hire that male au pair and save the family a whole lot of grief.
Article is Male Au Pair Has Fetish for Boys in Nappies under Current News! 

  • By Mark at 08/03/2009 - 19:37
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To Be Fair, Female Au Pairs Can Be Pedophiles Too!

Dear Ms. Stone,

Thank you for this clarification and I do understand why you posted the article concerning Au Pair in America. Your explanation is fair and reasonable. But, to be fair, girls can be pedophiles too, and you did post a story on that about Cultural Care (the Guilford family who is now suing the agency for placing a Swedish au pair in a family who found out that their au pair took pornographic photos of the 5 year old). I did find some of the news item in an article from the New Haven Register and what the au pair did:

"The 19-year-old au pair was taken in by police for questioning after photographs she allegedly took of the girl were discovered. In them, the child wore red silk pajamas and her face was painted in what her father called "hideous makeup." In some of the photos, the child's pajama top was open; in others, it was off altogether. In one picture, the girl had her hand down her pajama bottoms. The photo was later interpreted by the police to be pornographic, said her father."

This took place just last year, so the screening Cultural Care does did not pick up on this tendency to sexually exploit young children by a female au pair. It can happen to any agency! Not just Au Pair in America.

So, you see, it can happen with any au pair, not just male au pairs!

DWC

Hi DWC - I am re-posting a

Hi DWC - I am re-posting a comment I made on my blog (Jan 2009) about pedophilia and female and male au pairs:

First, let's take a look at the requirement mandated by the Department of State  (DOS) regarding psychological testing.  If you are using one of the 12 designated au pair agencies that are monitored by DOS, there is a good chance your au pair will be administered a psychological test.  If the agency is not under the auspices of DOS, the likelihood of the au pair  getting screened is low or zero. 

The tests the au pair agencies use vary - there is no one test required by DOS.  All the tests vary along types (personality tests, psychometric inventories, cultural adaptability tests).  Some tests are more valid  and reliable than others.   In addition, there are no statistics available to the consumer regarding the results of test scores, for example: how many au pairs pass, how many fail and how many are accepted if they have marginal results?  What are the criteria by which an agency accepts or rejects an au pair using these testing methods?  Therein lies the problem - where is the reliability of a U.S. government sanctioned psychological test that has passed muster?

Secondly, not all psychological tests can rule out all mental health issues.   Not all tests can profile a potential child abuser.  In the case of the Swiss au pair, who took pornographic photos of a 5 year old touching her genitals and posted it on a website, did the test she "passed" screen for Pedophilia?   This also raises questions about how these tests are interpreted.  Who is looking at these tests?  Who reads the results and shares the scores with the agencies?  What are the person's qualifications interpreting the test results?

Pedophilia is defined as a psychological disorder in which an adult has a sexual desire only for children.  A feature of this disorder is recurrent sexual urges and fantasies about children that can lead to child sex abuse, including child pornography.   One of the more common ways to spot a pedophile is the excessive photographs they take of children where most of these photos are of a sexual nature and include nudity.

We typically think of males as pedophiles but research indicates that female pedophiles preying on children in their care is much higher than previously thought.  Over 6% of pedophiles are women (Natalie O'Brien, NEWS.com.au, & The Australian, March 7, 2006).  The study cited here also noted that female predators were less likely to be charged and prosecuted for sex crimes compared to male predators.

Female pedophiles typically abuse girls, at twice the rate they abuse boys.  Male childcare workers and male au pairs face much more discrimination and scrutiny compared to their female counterparts.  Au pair agencies clearly should be screening both sexes to identify potential sex offenders. 

The good news for host parents is that the majority of au pairs accepted into DOS regulated agencies are not child abusers and the incidence of reported cases of sex abuse and child pornography is extremely low.

I do want to emphasis what I said then about the rates of pedophilias in the au pair industry:  the majority of au pairs accepted into Dept. of State regulated au pair agencies (in this country) are NOT child abusers.  Nor are they pedophilias.  In addition, reported cases of sex abuse and child pornography are extremely low.

A word of caution for all parents: whenever you have situations, jobs, etc., that offer or necessitate contact with children, you will see pedophiles trying to get into these situations/jobs.  An example is a pedophile priest left alone to mentor young males. Any job that requires direct contact with young children, coupled with opportunities to be alone with children, is highly desirable and sought out by pedophiles. 

So, any employer hiring either females or males, for these kind of jobs/positions, have to screen carefully and then after the person is hired, watch for signs of abuse or an "over-interest and over-involvement" with children.  Look at what is happening in our schools - not only are male teachers preying on their students, female teachers are engaging in sexual relationships with young boys and having their offspring! 

In conclusion, it is incumbent for all parents to make sure their children are with staff, teachers, mentors, priests, au pairs, etc., who have been screened and who are superivised appropriately.  Parents can also assist employers in the supervision of those who work closely with children.  Educate yourself about pedophilia and know some of the warning signs:

  • Shows an Intense Interest in Children and Child Activities: pedophiles will be extremely interested in everything your children is interested in or does, appear to relate better with children and has no or little interest in relating with adults.
  • Has Limitied or No Peer Relationships:  pedophiles are uncomfortable around adults and prefer the company of children.  They can relate better with young people and often will prefer to sit at the children's table instead of joining the adults during a party or family gathering.
  • Refers to Children as "Friends:" pedophiles will surround themselves with toys, games, etc., that will attract children and encourage friendships. If he arranges outings for the children, he makes sure that they exclude any adult.  They may be the neighborhood "uncle" on the street where all the kids hang out.  Once there, he will encourage the children to break their parents' rules, push the boundaries between adults and children and begin to "groom" them for more intimate contact. 
  • Is Overly Generous with Time and Gifts:  if a person working with your children seems to spend inordinate amounts of time with them, volunteering to work over-time for no pay, to run errands with the children, or to take them to after-school activities, etc., be vigilant.  Pedophiles are often very generous about gift-giving and will spend lots of money to buy needy kids clothes, candy and toys.  Pedophiles pry on the weak: single parents who are overwhelmed and jump at the chance of an extra set of hands; kids who are needy for both material possessions and attention. 
  • Takes Lots of Photos of Children: pedophiles are always taking photos of children - at parties, playgrounds, etc.  Excessive photo shoots of your children can be a warning sign of an over-interest in your child.  Pedophiles will also collect photos as mementos of their relationship(s) with the children they have abused.  Photos and other mementos (clothing, art work done by children, etc.),  are used when they fantasize about children.

If you see two or more of these above behaviors, and the person is single, has never married, lives alone and has moved around a lot (pedophiles often wear out there welcome in their communities as parents begin to get suspicious), do more investigating and keep your kids away from that person until you have followed up on your concern that he or she might be a pedophile. 

  • By Edina Stone at 07/04/2009 - 10:29
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