Interviewing au pairs - What questions should they be asking ME?
Hi, we are in the process of interviewing au pairs. We are looking at Swedish and German au pairs because we don't want to struggle with language barriers and we want a good, safe driver.
I think I pretty much have down what I should be asking the au pair, but is there anything specific that I should be hearing from the au pair herself? Red flags? Positive questions put to me?
thanks!
What I look for...
This may be obvious, but I think that the first questions an au pair asks should be about the kids - What kind of things do they like to do? Are they excited about having an au pair? What is your parenting/discipline philosophy? etc. I also look for questions that indicate that the candidate recognizes that the au pair experience is hard work and not just a fun and easy way to come to the U.S. So questions about "will I be expected to help with homework?" or "what kinds of responsibilities will I have in addition to childcare?" are a good sign.
I also think it's normal and expected that an au pair will want to have a sense of what her life would be like as your au pair, but I would be concerned if ALL of her questions were more "self-centered" questions like "will I have a car?" "will I have a curfew?" "are there a lot of nightclubs near your house?" Too many questions like this and not enough about the kids or her responsibilities might indicate a "party girl" (or boy) or a candidate who wants to be an au pair for the wrong reasons.
good suggestions
hostmomdp, good advice, thank you! as a new dad looking for information on the au pair program, it never occured to me that the interview with au pair is so important. I was assuming it was a matter of form and the agency pretty much did that, but I can see they only do so much and then the parents must do the rest, the most important part it seems that you have to find someone who is going to like children and be a good fit in your particular family.
Great suggestions!
Excellent suggestions! Most agencies do have at least basic tips and advice on how to interview an au pair - but I think it is important, as HostMomDP says here,, to make sure the au pair is asking about your children! If she is not, this is a red flag. An au pair who does not ask about the children may have another agenda for coming to America and we can be certain, it is not to care for the kiddies!
We will be posting an article on Interviewing Au Pairs soon, so look for that under Let's Talk Au Pairs.
Host Family Interviews
I wanted to remind host families that au pairs are not the only ones to be interviewed in the cultural exchange program - you and your family will be interviewed by the agency before you are allowed to receive an au pair. The agencies have a commitment to the au pairs and their families to provide a safe, nurturing home environment for their young charges. Au pairs can be abused, physically, emotionally and yes, sexually, by host parents - all adults living in the home will have to be carefully screened by the local counselor. If she feels you or a member of your family is not "suitable" for the program, you will not be "accepted" to participate.
Over the years, as more au pair agencies open and the economy suffers, some agencies have dramatically changed their high standards regarding who is accepted and who is not. As a result, we have seen news stories surface reporting host family abuse on au pairs and au pairs abusing children.
As parents, it is important to keep abreast of the industry and keep your eyes on trends that can affect the quality of childcare - and you also want to know what kind of families are in your cluster. Play dates bring children together and parents in contact with your au pair and your children.
To read about the family interview and what to expect, check out our article The Host Family Interview. Do you have what it takes to get into the cultural exchange program?