Male Au Pairs - Why do they Join?
Here is an email that I received from Todd, host dad in VA, whose wife would like to hire a male au pair for their 4 boys:
"Hi, I read your articles, etc. on males as au pairs and I would like to know a bit more....do you know why a male would want to sign up to be a babysitter for a year away from home? I just don't figure why a guy would want to become an au pair. Is there a specific country where they come from, that maybe there is a shortage of jobs? My wife would like to have a male au pair to help her with our boys (four of them, ranging in age from 4-10 years of age."
Thanks!
male au pairs
Hi Hostmomdp.
I like what you are saying here. I may think about hiring a male au pair. we have boys, very active boys, and sometimes I see that the "female" au pairs get tired quickly and sometimes they just aren't "into" playing soccer in the yard, or hiking in the woods behind our house. Maybe a boy au pair would be more inclined to play like the "boys" wouldn't that be great!
I'll bet you'll find some great options!
During our last matching process, we seriously considered two male candidates -- one was a competitive swimmer/certified lifeguard/swimming instructor, and one had many years of experience as a soccer coach. If either had had any experience with preschoolers (our youngest was 3 at the time), we would have snapped them up in a second! My boys are also very high energy, and would have loved someone who would get out and play soccer with them, help improve their swimming, or do their favorite activity, wrestling on the family room floor!
Another advantage that male au pairs may bring to the table is less "drama." We've had some fantastic female au pairs, we've also also gone through our share of boyfriend issues or drama with their friends -- stuff I'll bet is not as common with young men! Particularly for families with boys, I think that male au pairs are a great option! (But I think they could be great with girls as well! My youngest is a girl, and I would have been happy to have a male au pair for her if we could have found one with experience with her age group.) I wish you the best of luck!
The advantages of male au pairs
Yes, I have heard the same thing from our host families. Male au pairs, generally, bring less "drama" to the au pair/host family relationship. It is probably due to sex differences, where males tend to talk less and are less interested in discussing "feelings" and are not as "emotional" as females. In any case, if you are looking for a less complicated relationship with your au pair, it may be a good idea to try a male au pair.
In Europe, particularly in the UK, where au pairs are very popular, agencies highlight their au pairs by their "skills set" - promoting skills such as soccer and tennis instructors, music instruction and riding (horses) instructors. Au pairs do not need to have official certificates in these skills, but they do have to demonstrate past experience teaching these sports. Riding is very a very popular sport for children in England and many au pairs are selected by their ability to ride with the children and instruct them. Usually these families have horses and a stable and riding is a daily activity.
In America, the main skill set that parents are interested in is Special Needs au pairs (to care for and work with their special needs child). After that, American parents look for good driving and good English. As colleges and universities are demanding more evidence of a more "well-rounded "college candidate, parents may find it useful to match with au pairs with special skill sets, such as tennis, swimming, soccer, etc. This is where we may see a spike in male au pairs in the U.S.A.
Why Do Males Become Au Pairs
Hi Todd, and thank you for allowing me to post your email inquiry as a forum question - I wanted to share your thoughts with the Aupairclearinghouse community! You raise some good concerns that are pretty common with the American public.
First, what you say about the economics of a country and the relationship between the number of au pairs recruited is right on! If a country is experiencing a depressed economy and the rate of unemployment is high, we see more young people from that country signing up to become an au pair. Going away for a year and making some money, while learning a different culture, improving their English skills, taking college courses, etc., makes for wonderful gap year for many foreign youth who cannot find jobs. We actually see an increase in American youths doing the same thing and signing up to become au pairs abroad!
Secondly, there are many males who like the idea of caring for children and they do a great job of it. For parents who have not read our article on Can Boys be Au Pairs Too? it is a good primer if you are thinking about a "mannie." In addition, many males aspire to become teachers - au pairing is a great way to get experience working with children for academic positions.
Third, there is another factor that influences the number of male au pairs - in Germany young men can choose to do social work instead of signing up for the military. This is an option available to young men in Germany and becoming an au pair falls under the description of "social work."
And of course, male au pairs can simply be interested in learning a new culture and language - also there is the opportunity to travel while in the states.
Thanks for the question - I think many host parents will find the post helpful.
Edina
Child-centered jobs are not just for females
I also think that, just like female au pairs, many male au pairs sign up for the au pair program because they truly love children and the au pair program may provide valuable experience toward their career goals. For a young person -- male or female -- who is interested in a career as a teacher, coach, pediatrician, childcare worker, etc., a year (or two) as an au pair offers the opportunity to further their career goals while experiencing a new culture and having the opportunity to travel.
We've never actually hosted a male au pair, but I've heard wonderful things from families who have. (We've considered several male applicants, but for various reasons unrelated to gender, haven't ended up matching with them. The primary issue for us has been that the candidates we were considering seemed to be more interested in working with older children, and our AP's main job is caring for our youngest.) My understanding is that, because the pool of families who are interested in male au pairs is smaller, the agencies are more selective in accepting male candidates into the program, so male candidates often have more experience and qualifications than their female counterparts. I think it's definitely worth considering male candidates, even if you don't decide up front that you MUST have a male AP -- ask your agency to show you both and then choose the candidate who seems like the best "fit" overall!